The Four Humours
by aeroswing
Summary: Remnant is experiencing yet another incredible time of peace, thanks to the tireless efforts of four humourous huntresses. Join them as they finally find time away from their duties, having some well-deserved fun and maybe learning a little bit more about themselves in the process. (One-shot collection, After the War AU. Bumbleby/White Rose.)
Chapter 1: Rhythm and Bass

It stank in the backseat of Weiss' car. Didn't even matter how much of that new car smell it still had, the scent of cream-colored leather wafting through the Silver Seraph just made it even worse. Blake hooked one finger on the collar of her new black shirt, tracing the wrinkled red silhouette of a dinosaur with her thumb. Like Ruby said, it was a "neato" design, but maybe they should have waited until _after_ the concert to put them on. Now, even with the windows cracked, nothing was covering up the overwhelming odor of sweat, cigarette smoke, and beer that clung to the four of them.

Yet Blake couldn't really bring herself to care. Not over the thundering pulse of the amps that still rippled through her body, tingling in her Faunus ears. Or over the rhythmic taps of Yang's hands as they drummed against the glossy burr walnut of her unfolded seat tray. Blonde curls bounced to the beat of a fast-paced rock song tuned just low enough to talk over.

Blake cleared her hoarse throat. With all the screaming she'd done tonight, it wouldn't be surprising if she barely had a voice tomorrow. "Sounds like you had a good time."

A thousand-watt grin turned her way. "Of course! It's been forever since I saw Rex live. They rocked!"

"They certainly did." Weiss glanced at Yang from the passenger seat, wearing an amused half-smile. "Though right now, I wish we could _roll_ on out of here already."

Ruby giggled, her fingers fidgeting on the steering wheel. "I see what you did there."

Blake snorted. Four years had ingrained Yang's sense of humor into all of them. She sat up, looking through the windshield over the top of Weiss' seat. A caravan of cars curved in a single-file line, a chain of red and white lights linked together, alternating in front of them. "Looks like we're going nowhere fast."

As they came to a steady stop, Ruby whirled around, raising a melodramatic digit to her lips. "Shh. Don't jinx it, Blake."

Blake slumped back into her seat. "Ruby, we're already moving at a snail's pace. It's not like we can go any slower."

With Ruby timidly easing off the brake, the car inched forward once more at less than walking speed. "Don't jinx it!" And, as if on cue, red lights flashed ahead of them. Ruby threw both hands into the air. "You jinxed it!"

Snooty sky blue eyes pretended to examine five perfectly manicured nails. "Gee, if only someone suggested leaving sooner. Oh wait."

The sarcasm was wasted on Yang, who sat up, clapping her hands against the back of Ruby's seat. "Whatever. Not like we gotta be anywhere. And you know the encore was totally worth it."

Weiss trained a skeptical stare at her enthusiasm. "Weren't you partial to the Achieve Men? I'm honestly a little surprised you enjoyed it so much."

" _You're_ surprised?" Lively lilac sought out support in subdued amber. "Blake, back me up here. Could you even _imagine_ Weiss at a rock concert before today?"

An interesting question. Blake retreated back into her eyes, forming the scene, seeing those raving arms in the air, the crowd pressed airtight against each other, a mosh pit swirling around dangerously like a vortex in the center. She shook her head. The petite heiress would get eaten alive.

"I do have to admit, it came out of nowhere." Though when your good friend and confidant came to you with four prime tickets to see your favorite band, you tended not to question it. "How did you get those seats, anyway?"

The Vale Pavilion supposedly had a capacity of fifteen thousand, but Blake wouldn't have believed it until today. Two levels of seating fanned out from the central stage, each half bowl sloping upwards at a steady incline. And both had been packed full. Now, money was no object for Weiss Schnee, but this was the opening concert of their new tour. They would have sold out instantly.

Ruby spun around excitedly. A little too excitedly. Her foot slammed on the brake pedal, jolting its inhabitants forward. "Wait, Weiss didn't tell you guys?"

Whether Weiss scowled from Ruby's driving or babbling was up for debate. "Ruby!" Probably both.

Their seat belts were strained as they came to another screeching halt. Thrown forward and whipped back, Blake briefly pondered the life of a crash test dummy.

But the agitation only further thrilled a certain little dragon. Bright, perky cheeks framed a foxy grin. "What's up? Spill it, sis."

An eager mouth continued to run, deftly dodging Weiss as she attempted to plug the leak with her hand. "Dino dedicated one of the songs to her."

Blake raised a brow. Dino Rex did always prefer to let the music do the talking at his concerts, packing as much as he could in those two hours. But even so . . . "You think he would have mentioned something like that."

Pale, frigid fingers pressed themselves resignedly against Weiss' temple. "I asked him not to."

Yang took the words out of her mouth. "Why? Which song was it?"

You could see the frown carve itself into sharp cheek bones. "Liar, Liar On the Wall."

"Oh!" And now Yang's face animated the entire spectrum of emotions between genuine surprise and sullen realization. " _Oh_ . . ."

A wistful sigh pulled frosty features loose. "It's a shame. I rather like the song."

Blake frowned. It really was a shame. Because though the song wasn't particularly about her, it wouldn't stop people from seeing it as a Faunus attack on the Schnee name. Although . . . "You could always sing it _with_ him some time. They're doing a special charity concert for the White Fang in Menagerie." Wink, wink.

Gears clicked into place behind reflective blue eyes. Weiss' hand stroked her chin in thought. "Yes, I . . . suppose that would work. I did regret turning him down. He is quite the gentleman."

Surprisingly. Even for Blake, it was still hard to believe that the reptilian Faunus with a pink triple mohawk – the middle of which was actually a spiny fringe – had started out as a humble opera singer. Though he certainly proved it with his vocal range.

Yang roughly scratched a head still full of questions. "So wait, how do you know Dino in the first place?"

Ah, right. Yang was the only one who didn't know. And Weiss probably wanted to keep it that way.

A cold shoulder veered away. Bingo. It was always funny to see the usually calm and collected Weiss squirm. "Umm . . . well . . . I may have . . . _dabbled_ in music before coming to Beacon."

"What are you talking about, Weiss?" A little crimson bird chirped, continuing to tread haphazardly on thin ice. "Your cover of 'Mirror, Mirror' was great!"

"Wow, you actually _released_ a cover?!" The ecstatic blonde turned and grasped Blake's shoulder. "Blake, remind me to get it later."

Peeling the hand away, Blake chuckled. "I already have it. The original's pretty good, too."

Ice cold interest was piqued. " _You_ listen to K.C. Williams?"

Blake shrugged. "As long as it has a solid bass."

A myriad of words formed and disappeared in Weiss' mouth before she finally breathed out a laugh, settling on, "That's so weird."

And if she wasn't so used to that perception, Blake might have been offended. She just folded her arms, smirking. "What's wrong with bass?"

Weiss mirrored the smirk. "No, not that. _You_ listening to pop rock. I mean, Rex makes a sort of sense. They _are_ the longest running Faunus band."

"And they _still_ put on a good show." Yang rapped her fingers rapidly against her seat table. "You should have seen their drummer. He was going crazy!"

Blake gave her partner a snarky sidelong glance. "He wasn't the only one."

"Yes, it's a good thing we had private seats." Weiss was referring, of course, to the little balcony they had all to themselves. It jutted out from the top level, practically overlooking the center stage. Best view in the house.

Lilac blinked cluelessly. "Why's that?"

"Would _you_ want to be around us with _that_ –" Pointing with her finger, Weiss accused the flowing flaxen mane that had collided into all of them at some point, "–flailing about?"

Ruby sniggered. "Hey, Yang, isn't that how you got a drumstick stuck in your hair that one time?"

"No, I caught the drumstick." A golden wristlet gleamed as Yang reached forward to ruffle red-tipped bangs. "Almost got in a fight for it, remember?" Blake cringed. Heavens help the souls that got in a dog pile with Yang.

Ruby found the memory in the bright lights ahead. "Oh, right. That was the guitar pick. Err, picks." She appended a giggle, which Yang sprung off of.

"Ha, yeah. I think we found, like, four tangled good."

Blake added her own mellow chuckle. Well, that was _one_ way to get free souvenirs.

A disgusted groan rumbled in Weiss' throat. "Gross. That'll show you for thrashing around like a Boarbatusk."

Amber eyes narrowed. "Like you're any better." Several close calls had almost left her with a mouthful of alabaster hair. She could still smell the peppermint.

Yang gave the heiress a knowing smirk. "Yeah, Weiss. You were totally headbanging with Ruby." Indeed, at that distance, with the music physically resonating through your body, it was all but impossible not to be moved. Even Blake had found herself bobbing her head, stamping her foot in time with the beat.

Pale ears tinged pink as Weiss huffed. "I . . . was just caught up in the moment. That's all."

Yang bit her lip and shared a blithe look with Blake. Weiss could be just as adorable as Ruby sometimes. "Aw, don't be embarrassed, Weiss. Just shows you liked the music."

Weiss rolled her eyes, but didn't refute it. "I must admit, they _are_ surprisingly technical. Especially their keyboardist."

Between stops, Ruby decided to sneak in her own snide remark. "You're just sweet on him."

"Ruby!" Hasty denial only proved the point. "He's older than my father!"

Blake reached for the plastic bottle that lay in the middle seat, crinkling as she grasped it. Now that was an interesting thought. How old _was_ Weiss' father when Rex was just getting started? Idly, she unscrewed the cap and took a long drag, letting the water quench the expanding dryness in her throat. Weiss' father didn't seem the type, but then again, neither did Weiss. She interposed her image of the man, in his immaculate white suit, with several "alternative" hair styles. Like, say, an afro.

That was enough to make her spray a mouthful of water at her partner, unable to stop the sudden laughter. Yang waved her arms about frantically. "Blake, what the heck?!"

Before it could get any worse, Blake quickly wiped her lip and replaced the cap on the bottle, setting it on her lap. "Sorry, Yang. Sorry." She wasn't really sorry. Neither did Yang look entirely displeased.

Unlike Weiss. She glared at Blake. "And what are _you_ laughing at?"

Blake shook her head, trying and failing to hide her mirth. "It's nothing, really." Though when Yang leaned over, lending her ear, she didn't hesitate to whisper the "nothing" in the security of golden locks.

In hindsight, Blake didn't think it was _that_ funny. But apparently Yang did. She bent forward in peals of laughter, so full of glee that she had to hold her stomach to contain the convulsions.

Weiss was content to just give them dirty looks, but Ruby could only stay out of the loop for so long. "Guys, what's so funny?"

"Okay, okay. Just level with me. Weiss." Yang pointed at the heiress, who gave a cautious nod in response. "Your dad. Rocking a mullet."

Mimicking the mustache with her finger, she pumped the other hand into the air. "Roar, roar, fight da powah!"

Yeah, that'll do it. Laughter exploded inside of the car. Ruby clapped her hand against the steering wheel with hysterical giggles while Weiss hid her face in her hands, tittering uncontrollably. With one hand attempting to stifle her own chortling, Blake held a fist out to Yang, who instantly bumped their knuckles together. Bumblebee strikes again.

Even as the amusement faded away, Weiss continued to smother herself in a double facepalm. "I swear, you two. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Now I can never look at him with a straight face again."

She looked up at Blake with a smile that sat smack dab in the middle between sincerity and sarcasm.

Stretching her arms up high, Blake tucked her hands behind her head as she sat back. Yes, yes, just as planned. "That should be an interesting conversation."

Yang tilted her head up as a thought struck. "Man, you should ask if he still remembers when Dino was main guitar."

Because being a fantastic singer just wasn't enough. Blake nodded. "Not that he ever stopped. He still plays for all their older songs."

Ruby bounced restlessly in her seat. "Yep, he's still got it." Whispered squeals indicated that Ruby was now, as Yang liked to call it, nerding out. "And that guitar was _so awesome_."

Admittedly, the custom-made double neck guitar was very impressive. Like everything else about Dino, it was extravagant. And pink, of course.

Scoffing, Weiss raised her nose into the air. "Please. You can hardly call that monstrosity a guitar."

Ruby groaned, releasing a frustrated breath. "Oh, come on, Weiss. It's just two guitars combined. One acoustic guitar and one _real_ guitar."

Wow. The stunned silence overpowered even the muffled sound of car horns coming from down the road. Ruby, making a statement.

Yang laughed it off, firing two finger pistols at her sister. "Dang, shots fired."

Unfortunately, things weren't so simple with Weiss. She didn't take anything sitting down. Especially when it came to an argument with Ruby. "Hmph. I never could understand the appeal of electric guitar. It sounds so distorted. Piano is just so much cleaner."

If only Ruby didn't mutter loud enough for them all to hear. "Yeah, so clean it squeaks."

And here comes the lecture. Weiss raised her hand, gesturing to the imaginary blackboard behind her. "Well, _Ruby_ , when the accompaniment can pierce through the melody, _you_ tell me which should be leading."

It was Weiss' mistake to approach the argument logically. "Guitar! Because it's not obnoxious!"

"Ruby!" Now she looked positively appalled. One hand covered her heart, shielding it from further blasphemy. "I thought you of all people would appreciate the classics!"

Shaking her head, Blake tuned out the high-pitched bickering, something she was very used to doing by now, and just listened to the softly playing song. The rambling, grungy chords of the guitar played off of the very distinct plinks of the keyboard, trading places in the spotlight. Where the guitar went, the piano followed. Back and forth, like a metronome, they formed the classical counterpoint.

Faunus ears twitched at the click of a seat buckle unfastening, the belt retracting with a telltale whir as a warm arm pulled her into an even warmer body. She looked up to a sunny smile and playful lilac eyes.

"So, you go for bass, huh? Should've known."

Blake settled into her partner as best she could, letting Yang's chin rest on top of her head. "Yeah, you can barely hear it sometimes, but it anchors the song. All music needs a solid foundation."

Laughter laced Yang's impish reply. "A strong _bass_?"

Music puns. Of course she would. "Looks like your wit's _sharp_ as always. Just make sure your puns don't fall _flat_."

Yang just rocked her head back and forth, digging between cat ears in just the right way. "Don't worry, Blake, I'll stay out of _treble_. I think I've got a pretty good rhythm going."

Moaning appreciatively, Blake leaned into the contact. "Hmm. Speaking of treble, I thought you'd be more into guitar, not the drums."

Rough fingers cascaded softly against her black slacks, trickling on top of her thigh. "You kidding? It's an instrument that involves hitting things. You can't beat that."

Warmth wore away at her restraint. At the rate this was going, they were about a minute from breaking Weiss' rule about being too handsy in her car.

"I guess I can see it. So loud, so rowdy. But always supporting something else." Blake yawned. What was she talking about again? Yang really had an awful habit of making her sleepy. So safe. So secure. For shame.

And suddenly the weight of the bottle disappeared from her lap. Yang held it in her hand, tipping it towards Blake in a toast. "Here's to the rhythm section."

Rolling drowsy eyes, Blake uncapped the bottle for her partner, letting her finish it off with thirsty gulps. So much for that.

"Finally!" Weiss' shrill shriek was the ice that woke Blake up. Sighing, she shifted just enough to peer between the seats. Well, at least they had officially left Traffic, population: not them. Just a fork and open road now. "Left, Ruby."

Ruby nodded in affirmation. If only she left it at that. "Right."

Blake could swear that she heard Weiss growl. "No, Ruby, _left_."

They did indeed make her indicated turn, but Weiss' victorious smirk vanished as soon as Ruby muttered, "Your _face_ is left . . ."

Like it had never ended.

Yang just shook her head and chuckled. Yeah, that was pretty much how Blake felt about it as well. She sank back, until she could feel the passionate beating of a fiery heart thumping against her shoulder. As strong arms encircled her, Blake clasped gentle hands in her own, anchoring them silently together.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deep and let the sounds blanket her ears. The faint rumble of the engine. The melancholy melody of the song.

But most important of all, the distinct breathing of her precious friends in the car.

A smile pulled at the ends of her lips. For as discordant as they might be, together, they formed a strange sort of harmony.

"Ruby, you juvenile brat!"

Most of the time.

* * *

 _Howdy there,_

 _So . . . this happened. Not really, but apparently I get into a lot of amusing conversations on my way back from concerts. It sparked me into writing this one-shot. Along with RWBY Rex, of course. Though I consider scenes with more than two people to be a weakness of mine, by all means, please tell me what you think._

 _Speaking of which, I'd like to take the time to thank everyone who reviewed my last story. Your kind words and criticism definitely help me as a writer._

 _As far as this one-shot collection goes, you could consider it loosely connected to Moebius Loop, though, as far as I know, I won't go out of my way to refer to it. It's just classic Team RWBY banter, which I can't get enough of._

 _Anyway, before this becomes even more verbose, thanks ya'll for reading and hope you enjoyed._


End file.
